Looking back from this moment when I am meandering along this path of acceptance, I see now that there have been a handful of pivotal experiences that were so powerful at the time that they set the tone for the long periods in between.
Up until the age of 12 I was a happy young boy, spending my time fishing and playing football with my friends – Generally living in the moment and enjoying life.
Then something happened to change all that when I was sent away from home to a strict Catholic boarding school and I was no longer able to accept and remain in the present moment. I found myself suddenly shocked into an atmosphere of fear, a place of harsh discipline that even now I find quite hard to describe to others.
I was no longer happy with the way things were and I wanted to change them – Bigtime ! I ran away from School repeatedly and was each time taken back again to my place of suffering and was unable to get anyone to listen to me. So then I stopped talking unless I was forced to and retreated deep inside to a silent place of relative safety where I shut myself off from the world.
I remained in this state for most of my teenage years until at the age of 19 I discovered a Flute on the Island of Hydra, in Greece. Something about the instrument fascinated me and I spent many hours high up in the pine forests above the town teaching myself to play. Slowly but surely as I began to express my deepest feelings through the flute I started to feel better and began to talk to people again. That elusive joy of childhood, that is actually always there for no reason, began to bubble up to the surface once again.
My re-discovered freshness of expression was welcomed into the world with open arms and soon manifested abundance in my life in the shape of a very successful career in Music – All based around the magical discovery that I could express my current feelings through the Flute.
And then the great Maya drew me once again into her clutches and I became caught up for many years in a web of ambition and intense family life that re-awakened the old patterns of survival – I shut off again from the world and the Music came through in the form of CD’s that I kind of threw out to the world from the safety of my Studio. Thankfully the need to support my family kept the Music flowing and my body health remained intact during that period, just. It was touch and go for a while there !
It was only when I met my beloved Soraya that I was able to let go and open up again. Together we began to travel and play ”out there” in the world, sharing our Music with an audience of real people. It was confronting for me to begin with as I did not say much….but now the words flow freely. Soraya was also challenged to sing, but together we followed on inner promptings. Our relationship is grounded in the acceptance of each other just as we are, letting life flow as we go.
This is where the magic happens – Here and now, where there is complete abandonment to this moment where my personal song fades into the unfolding music of creation…..moment by moment…..
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